OK, I went to the church school and talked to the principal (who teaches 3-6) and the K-2 teacher. The K-2 teacher seemed a lot warmer and kinder than had been my initial impression at the open house last year. We talked about the benefits of the multi-age classroom--she currently has K and 2nd-graders but no 1st-graders--and we seem to be on the same page. She doesn't give a ton of homework to kindergartners, either, thank goodness. Unfortunately she's not 100% sure she'll be there next year. *sigh* And the new principal took down my questions to ask the school board. The accountant guy, who I'd set up the meeting with, wasn't around and hadn't notified the other two that I wanted to meet, but they were both kind enough to hang around and chat with me in their classrooms, so it worked out. I drove away feeling pretty positive about putting Blue in Mrs. G's classroom, if she's able to stay next year, and frankly terrified that Mrs. C is going to tell me I have to make Blue get a haircut.

I got freaked out today about kindergarten. I read a post about schools, realized that the application season for SF public schools is starting, and spent a chunk of time reading up on our convoluted school assignment system. I started to think that maybe I should fill out an application for Blue just to see what school he'd be accepted into, but the thought of figuring out which schools to put on the preference list and compiling the information for an application--not to mention the physical exam, immunizations, etc.--had me going. I don't know for sure that our little church school is going to work out for him and I don't really have a backup plan. Finally I thought to pick up the phone; I called the church school and talked to the school accountant, a very nice man who made me an appointment for Friday to meet him, the new principal, and the K-2 teacher. I have a short list of questions for them and I'm sure I'll feel more settled after I've had a chance to ask them. Also, the accountant informed me that kindergarten and first grade are now FREE. I said FREE. Free private school. For members of the church, that is. I'll still be paying for after-school care ($105 a month flat fee and I can leave him there until 6pm), and I'll probably buy him hot vegetarian lunches at school quite often, but, um, free. Yeah. I guess they are trying to encourage church members to get their kids started in our schools since enrollment has gone down so far, so the conference is somehow supporting the school. I'll be donating to the school, of course, just as I did to Blue's preschool last year, and it's tax-deductible so that's even better than paying tuition. But I'm so excited. This is such a blessing.

Also today I found a great deal on a martial arts school with a "Little Ninjas" program, and an even better deal on swimming lessons at a therapeutic aquatics center for the disabled which is really close to my house. The kid swimming lessons are the only thing there that's open to the public. How handy! It's way cheaper than the YMCA, which was my other option, and the pool is super warm. I'm just not sure which thing to start first. Blue would probably rather do martial arts, but swimming is such an important skill, and I think he's really ready to learn. I also think that now is a good time to do this, even though I am trying to economize as much as possible in general, because we still have flexibility on Mondays and Wednesdays. Next year he'll be in kindergarten already! Wow.

This is all so exciting! Life has gotten so structured lately, which I usually hate, but I think it's good for Blue and it now seems possible to do these things that seemed impossible before. Hooray!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/twirlgrrl/sets/72157622460214403/

I loaded TONS of little videos this time for no good reason at all.

Blue and I visited with canetoad, dwenius and their two youngest kids this weekend. Blue is between the two other kids in age, and it was fun to watch him bounce between them. When we left, almost-4-year-old Rose burst into tears because she didn't want Blue to leave. Blue tried to make her feel better: "It's OK Rosie, I'll come back and play with you!" It was very very sweet all around.

Yesterday, Blue and I had another conversation about eating animals. He said that Nathan eats animals because he brought over a chicken that used to fly (one of those smallish whole roasted chickens from the warmer at Safeway.) I explained again that every chicken we eat was a living creature, and Blue decided again that he doesn't want to eat meat. We talked about cows and pigs and chicken--but not fish, since I have a bunch of salmon in the freezer, LOL. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. It's easy to be vegetarian at home, since I very rarely cook any meat--the salmon is an experiment, actually--and we are well stocked with fake meat at all times. I explained that the "chicken" we eat at home is not in fact chicken. Blue: "Why do you think they CALL it chicken?" Me: "Well, they actually don't, they are called 'chik' nuggets and 'chik' patties, but I say chicken when I give it to you." Blue: "Well then I want you to say 'chik' and not chicken, please." We also agreed that if we go to the drive-thru we will have to go to Burger King because they have mac & cheese kid meals and not just chicken nuggets (he's still never had a hamburger.) They're the only ones I know of who have a vegetarian option for kids. I explained the word "vegetarian" and gave Blue some tips on how he can figure out if food he is offered has meat in it or not. Now, he's 4 1/2 (MORE than 4 1/2, he'll tell you) so I don't have any idea if this will stick or if he'll even remember it tomorrow. But it's at least the second time he's brought it up, and I fully support him in his desire not to eat meat that animals had to die for, which is his concern. So I'm going with it as long as it lasts. I've been vegetarian for chunks of my life and I have no problem figuring out HOW to do it... but resisting meat has always been difficult for me, and I'm not leaping to another round of vegetarianism at this point in my life on the strength of my preschooler's musings. Yet.

Still, I think it's interesting that a 4.5-year-old can recognize the ethical dilemma of meat-eating and I would love not to desensitize him early in life. The meat industry is unspeakably horrible and I am a hypocrite, or at least have a high level of cognitive dissonance, for being able to eat meat at all.

In other news, Blue still says "kine-apple" instead of pineapple, which pleases me. And we discovered yesterday that he loves frozen raspberries, which will save me a lot of money by not having to occasionally buy fresh in the wintertime. I'm a pushover when it comes to requests for antioxidants.

Anya called me yesterday afternoon to tell me what a great day Blue had at school. Actually, her word was "perfect." !! He got to be the helper of the day and everything. He had a few minutes of silliness at the end that apparently marred the day somewhat, but still. I talked to her about it later and she said that Sam was the only other kid at playschool that day, and we're both sure that that's why he was so calm and sweet. I know from experience with other kids--Sadie, Arabis, Tai, Izzy, etc.--that he almost always does great with just one other child. But the more kids in the mix, the more nervous he gets. This morning I brought him to school and there were already four other kids there, all playing outside. I brought him outside twice and he came back in after me both times. Anya said he often likes to sit inside with her for a little while before gathering the courage to try to play with the other kids. It's amazing to see how sensitive he is and how obviously this affects him. Unfortunately his nervousness tends to translate into anger, so it can be pretty off-putting and frustrating.

The September set is up, with captions and everything!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/twirlgrrl/sets/72157622326181016/

Behold the cuteness of Banjo, Blue and Caleb (especially Caleb!) playing Mr. Fox with Ellen.



DINNERTIME!!

Blue can no longer say "I don't like beans" because he has now TWICE eaten a huge portion of refried beans at Mexican food restaurants. I explained to him yesterday that he'd eaten beans in Portland, and he was game to try again. We went to Tommy's together for a yummy sit-down Mexican dinner. He ate a huge portion of his plate of rice & beans with cheese, piled on top of tortilla chips and dipped in delicious lime-heavy guacamole. We had a great time together. He started out on the opposite side of the booth, like a grown-up, but before the food even came he moved his place setting over to my side of the table and then crawled under the table to sit next to me. I tried to get him to stay on the other side, just for fun, but he explained that he needed to sit next to me "because I love you so much."

He still says "well-ly" instead of "well" as an adverb, as in, "Look, Mama, I can hop on this foot very well-ly." I don't correct him because I think it's so cute. He also still says up-spy down and up-spy up. I keep wondering when he's going to figure that one out!

We went to New York from Saturday through Thursday, and his sleep schedule got completely readjusted on that trip. I put him to bed at 8pm every night, which is 5pm our time, so as not to disrupt the peace of the evening grown-up hangout time that Michael and Ellen have in their apartment after they put their kids to bed. I really enjoyed having grown-up time, and since we've been home I've been putting Blue to bed at 8:30pm so I can have a couple hours in the evening after he falls asleep. So far it's been working out very well. The drawback is that I'm too tired in the evenings to do much of anything. The way we'd been doing it before, I'd fall asleep with him at around 9:30 or 10pm, and then I'd wake up around 5am. That way, I'm awake enough to get some work done in the morning before he wakes up a few hours later. But the new way, when I stay up after he falls asleep, my evenings are potentially social time. Imagine me going out with a friend in the evening! Wow! So I'm going to try to keep it this way for a while and see if any social engagements materialize. And I'll try to work during the day, 9-5, like normal people do. Although I've never been particularly successful at being productive when the sun is up.

Another thing that's nice about the new schedule is that we can get to playschool earlier, when the other kids get there, instead of being the latest kid every morning. Also, we can hopefully get to Sabbath School more often. In fact, yesterday we were both up in plenty of time for church, but we still didn't make it. I felt bad about that but we had a very lazy day yesterday, catching up from vacation I guess. We flew back Thursday night but didn't have time to recuperate on Friday--Blue went straight to playschool, and had a great day there I might add, and I went straight to my "real" job.

Blue is doing really well at Anya's playschool. He's had a couple of issues with anger, making those angry faces and angry noises that he does when he gets mad, and also I guess he tried to kick Anya once or twice. But he has the very clear idea of what's OK and what's not, and he's VERY proud of himself when he does well. I picked him up on Friday and he was bursting with pride because he'd had such a good day. His ambition is to be the "helper" one day... apparently this is a privilege that's earned. Your picture is put in the "helper" spot, and you get to do all the extra things like take the plates back to the sink, etc. during the day. At the end of the day you get a star by your picture, or something. I didn't know if something like that would matter to Blue at all but apparently it really, really does. I need to go check out the system and talk to Anya about it too; I'm all for motivating social behavior but I want to make sure he won't feel like a "bad kid" on the flip side if he doesn't get to be the helper for a long time. I definitely need more info about how it works.

More about the New York trip. For the most part, Banjo and Blue got along wonderfully. It was really fun to watch them together, as they're only 4 days apart in age and they seem to be in the same developmental stage in a lot of ways. Poor Caleb, who is almost 3, got left out a lot, but there was one day when Banjo was away at school and Blue and Caleb got a chance to play together, which also went well. Overall there was a lot of cuteness and it was a fun visit. I didn't get too many pictures, considering how much cuteness was going on, but I hope to get a couple posted before too long. Also, it's so fun to consider that Banjo and Blue are friends, even though they live across the country from each other, and only because of LJ! Our families wouldn't even know each other without the LJ parenting communities. I love the internet!

Blue, to me just now: "I love you so much that maybe when we get married I'll give you a star."

While going through a gigantic stash of clothes that fit Blue either RIGHT NOW or last year (note to self: Never go a year without seeing Barbie, ever again!!) I found a really cool knight costume. So now Blue is going to be a knight instead of a Bob the Builder character. We found a mask, a shield, and a sword at the dollar store. Huzzah!

Now he wants me to help him figure out how knights talk. I just posted in P101 to ask for video recommendations. I'd especially like him to learn the story of King Arthur and the knights of the round table, because I'd rather have him be a knight who works things out with other knights than a knight in shining armor who hooks up with princesses.

OK, Anya called me four times today. I guess she thought I was nervous about his first day or something. I wasn't, but it was nice to hear how he was doing. He gave her a little trouble about washing his hands before lunch, and peeing before nap, but he went to sleep at naptime (!!) and seemed to do well otherwise. She said he has a great vocabulary. (Did I mention he said something was "horrendous" for the first time on our Portland trip? LOL)

I'm going to get him as soon as my iphone update installs. Let's hope there's good news from the post-nap period.

One more thing I wanted to remember... The other day I was a little bit weepy and he asked me why I was sad, as he usually does when I'm melancholy. He said "I'm going to pray for you. Dear Jesus, please come into Mama's heart, and help her feel better. Thank you, amen." Then he looked at me expectantly and asked, "Do you feel better now?"

We rented a Mr. Rogers video and when I first put it on I got a little bit teary with nostalgia. Blue immediately noticed, and asked me if Mr. Rogers was dead. I explained that he is dead now, but I was just a little choked up about remembering my childhood. Now whenever he sees me get sad he asks, "Are you crying because Mr. Rogers died?"

I just dropped Blue off for his first day at his new playschool! It's partly a preschool, partly a daycare, so I decided this morning that I think the word playschool fits best. He had to wake up a bit earlier than usual, but he was really sweet and happy this morning. Last night he made a bit of noise about not liking school and preferring to stay at home, but this morning he didn't even mention it. He found a little white bead on the sidewalk on our way, and exclaimed "Oh! I'd better show this to Anya! I hope I don't lose it!"

We walked to Anya's; it's only three blocks away. Can I get a HOORAY?! The three blocks are long and steep, so my march home is a heart-pounder. I'm excited about that. When we got to Anya's and were buzzed in, Blue walked right in and showed Anya his white bead. Then Logan, who has apparently been excited that a new boy is coming, brought up two transformer cars, gave one to Blue, and they were off playing. Anya gave me some paperwork, I gave her a copy of Blue's immunization record, we chatted with her husband George (who has a ponytail like Blue's!) and I said goodbye to Blue, who barely noticed.

Last night when I called her, Anya said she was eager to get Blue started because they are preparing for their Halloween program and she wants him to have time to learn the songs and poems. SO CUTE. They do the Mother Goose preschool program, but I'm not sure if the special holiday stuff is Mother Goose or Anya's family. They're really into holidays, and Blue loves Halloween, so this is perfect. I think he'll love learning the songs and poems, too, because he does that on his own so much already.

The biggest tip I could give Anya about dealing with Blue was to just give him some space if he gets angry, and not to try to talk him out of it. I think he'll do fine. He's growing up so fast.

Ah, she just called me! (She is a talker talker talker.) She called to tell me he's doing fine, playing, talking up a storm, and she'll call me later. I am so happy.

Blue got upset when Evan left this evening and took out his anger on me. He argued with me about watching a movie on the laptop vs. the TV, and he got mad when I wouldn't back down and started talking about all the treats he wasn't going to give me, etc. When he gets mad he tends to talk a lot about the bad things he's going to do to me, which I prefer to throwing things or hitting, but it can still be hurtful. I just try to ignore him for the most part, because if I respond he just escalates, and I don't want to get into a power struggle with my 4-year-old. Ha!

He went on for a bit, and I went downstairs to get the DVD he'd said he wanted to watch. When I came back upstairs, he was standing at the top of the stairs. He said, "I'm sad about my angriness!" and burst into tears.

I picked him up and soothed him, allowing that he'd hurt my feelings. He cried, "I'm sorry I hurt your feelings!" I said it's OK, I forgive you, and he said "I forgive you too." Awww.

Expressing his anger in words instead of violence was a huge step for him. (Not that he's entirely past the violence, LOL.) Expressing remorse for his unkind words feels like an even huger step. I'm so proud of him.

I haven't had a chance to tell the story, but Moanna had her baby almost two weeks ago! Beautiful little Amber Rose. Blue was so sweet and gentle with her; I have some really sweet pictures to post.

Anyway, the other day I was looking at my pictures of Amber, and Blue was watching over my shoulder. I flipped to a picture in which some baby acne was visible on her sweet little face. Blue asked, "Do you know what those spots are on her face?" I said no, what? and he said "Those are all my kisses."

We made it home! Blue is quite the little traveler; we drove all the way down together, a two-day journey, and it was actually easy. He slept a bunch the first day (we didn't leave until after 4pm) and yesterday we listened to music and talked a lot. Plus we were on a mission yesterday to get to the Jelly Belly factory for a tour, and time was short, so he knew we had to hurry/not stop a million times. He had a full sized bag of cheese puffs so that helped the drive go by.

I am SO ready to get back to his normal diet and sleep schedule. It's so hard to maintain a healthy diet when we're not at home, and he's become convinced that "treats" are an everyday thing. It will be interesting to disabuse him of that notion, now that I don't need lollipops and cheese puffs to keep him occupied.

Last night he got the idea that he really really needed apple pie. He asked me what the ingredients were and whether we had them so we could make an apple pie. We have sugar, he pointed out, but I reminded him that we are missing apples at the very least. So then he insisted that we go out and GET an apple pie. I don't even know where he got the idea! I asked him if he'd ever had apple pie and he allowed that he hadn't, but he knows he loves it. He threw a royal fit over it, complete with dramatic 4.5-year-old tears (boy, do 4-year-olds love their drama!), but he did not win, as he knew he wouldn't. I gave him some mango and fake sausage as a bedtime snack instead.

We've been gone a whole two weeks, and Blue misses his Daddy like MAD. I can't wait for the joyful reunion that is due to take place in less than two hours.

Blue was difficult at times today, and I spoke sharply to him more than I would like.

But: When we visited Moanna and her brand new baby, Blue smiled and gently stroked the baby's head. He rocked her slowly in the little rocker seat, after asking permission, and turned on the music and vibrations to help her sleep. He kissed her little head and tucked her blankets around her neck.

Also: When I went over to give him a kiss as he watched Bob the Builder before bed, he stood up on the chair so he could brush my hair back with his palm and kiss me all over my forehead.

On the occasion of Blue's half-birthday yesterday:

He is 3'6 7/8" tall (44 7/8") (114cm) which is about the 96th percentile for height on the CDC growth chart for boys. He doesn't really seem that tall to me, and I know girls who are younger than him and taller, but anyway, he's pretty tall, since his 5T pants are too short already even though he can still wear 4T around his waist.

He's grown 1 1/8" since his birthday six months ago.

From The Poop (Chronicle blog for parents of toddlers)--this makes me cry every time I watch it. So simple, so sincere... "I'll watch the time."



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Being a parent can be so, so hard.

I had to hold the door to Blue's room and keep him in there while he freaked out and screamed for a good long while. It was either hold the door or go in and spank him, so I chose the former. I told him I wouldn't open the door until he went and sat down on his bed. It took a loooooong time for him to concede. But he did.

To balance that out, here are some cute things he's said and done lately:

On the beach in Morro Bay last weekend, he left my side and went walking back up toward the dry sand, but instead of going back to the blanket where our crew was, he approached two girls sunbathing on their towels 50 feet away. I watched from afar as he walked up to them, sat down on their towel, and started talking. I could see them looking around for his parent so I slowly cruised over there. When I got to him I said hi and asked him if he was looking for B&B; he said "Yeah, I was looking for our picnic!" I pointed our group out to him and he said "Oh, but I found some friends!"

Last night we were saying prayers before going to sleep. Blue said, "Dear God, bless my mama's heart, amen!"

Also lately when Blue says something about himself, like the fact that he likes to be warm and not cold or hot, or the fact that he doesn't like spicy food, or whatever, he says one of two things: Either "That's just the way God made me!" or "That's just how my body works!"

( Blue and me on the beach, the way God made us )

I had Blue help me make Kool-Aid tonight. No, it's not a regular occurrence; in fact, I don't think he'd ever had Kool-Aid before, but Mama needed some comfort food from childhood tonight. He added the (huge pile of) sugar, shook out the Kool-Aid, added the ice, and helped me stir. Then I gave him a cup. He took a long sip, and I asked him if he liked it. He took another gulp and said "Yeah, cuz it tastes weird, and I like weird!"